To Live Again: It's Like Nature
by itslikenature
Summary: Bella's life is turning around. She and Jake are getting closer everyday. They still have some things to work out, but the outlook is good.


Chapter Two

It's Like Nature

I walked up to the door of Billy's house and knocked. He was home and asked me to come in. I explained what had transpired with the new trail and all, and he assured me they knew what they were doing. I asked him if it would be okay if I made dinner for him and Jake tonight, and of course he was delighted. Something told me he was not the best cook in the world, and I knew Jake didn't do much in the kitchen.

I found the makings for chicken enchiladas. I was glad that they had everything I needed. They take a considerable amount of time to prepare and this would keep my mind busy. I got everything started and noticed Billy was watching me intently. "Billy, can I talk with you about something?" "Yes, Bella, you know you can." "Well, it is sort of _personal_ and you may tell me that it isn't any of my business." "Try me. You know I'm not like Charlie."

"What do you think about _imprinting_?" "Hum. You and Jake have been talking, I guess." "Yeah, I guess so." "Well, I don't think you have much to worry about Bella. Jake hasn't even so much as looked at another girl in over a year." "Billy, I'm sorry for all that I have put Jake through. I know _now_ how much he means to me, and I don't want to lose him. I'll never turn my back on him again. All I want is for him to be happy." "My dear, I really don't think you need to worry. You both have a lot of time to work all of this out."

I could tell that, even though he was trying to be comforting, he too was still unsure of the level of my commitment. It was apparent that I would have to prove myself to him too, as time went by. I finished the enchiladas, made some Spanish rice and left them on the stove to stay warm.

It was about an hour until sunset, so I called Charlie to tell him where I was, and that was staying for dinner with the Blacks. I decided to go down to the beach and take a walk. I needed to think, alone. I told Billy where I was headed and he said if I came back and the food was all gone, he wouldn't be the responsible party. We laughed and I headed out the door.

The day was still very warm and the breeze from the water felt good. I thought as I slowly walked the beach, how strange it would be for the shoe to be on the other foot, so to speak, for me. Up until now, Jake had been trying to keep me from leaving him for _someone_ else, and now I may be faced with the same thing. It would be different though, because right now there wasn't anyone vying for his attention. It could be _anyone_. Some new girl who moved onto the reservation, or maybe a girl that was just here to visit.

It made me a little apprehensive to think that I would always be wondering in the back of my mind. "Will he meet her today?" Why, why couldn't my life just be simple? No magic, no mystery, no mythical creatures, just simple.

I wandered down to the water's edge and found the familiar driftwood tree that Jake and I liked to sit on when we talked. The twisted branches had strangely become our own private hideaway and it felt good to be here again.

I sat there, looking out at the water pondering the irony of my thoughts. Maybe this was what I deserved. After all I had put Jacob through, maybe this was my punishment. Okay, so I'm strong, I thought. I can do this. After all, you have to take the good with the bad. Right? Isn't that what Jacob had done with me all this time? Taken what little good I had in me, then shouldered all the bad that came following after me.

I decided right then and there, that I would stick it out. No matter what happened to me, in the end. I knew now that I loved Jacob, more than anything, maybe even more than I had _Edward_. So I would fight for him. She better think twice, before she came between us. I would fight.

My back was to the land side of the beach and I was deep in thought, so I didn't hear Jake come up behind me. He cleared his throat and jolted me back into the present. I looked up and smiled at him, but I didn't move. He sat down beside me and rested his head on mine. "I guess she got away again, huh?" "Yeah, but she did something different today. She came down this way. She is searching for you. Your scent is everywhere, in the forest, in the meadow, at the big, white house, here, and in Forks. We think she is mapping or something."

"Well, I bet you are starving. Let's get back to your house. I made dinner for you and your dad." "Bella, don't you want to tell me what you were so deep in thought about?" "I will Jake, just give me a little time, okay?"

We walked back to the house and Billy opened the door for us as we stepped up onto the porch. "I thought you kids would never come back. Jake. I have been trapped in here with those wonderful smelling chicken enchiladas for over an hour. I threatened to eat them all, you know."

Jake set the table, while I got everything ready to serve. I'll bet it had been a while since they had a female at the table with them, since Jacob's sisters had moved out. We talked in general about the day and what the pack had discovered about Victoria's moves. Billy and Jake ate until they were stuffed, all the while complementing me on the wonderful meal.

When we had finished, Jake and I cleaned the kitchen, and I asked if I could take a plate home for Charlie. They would still have enough left for one more meal, so they said sure. I prepared a to go plate and realized it was about 7:30 p.m. "I guess I better head home. Charlie should be back by now, and you know he will be hungry."

Jake walked me out to my truck and insisted that he drive me home, again. And again, I didn't argue with him. I sat next to him with his arm wrapped around my shoulders, holding my hand in his, over my chest. It had been a very long day, and I was really getting tired. After all, I hadn't only said goodbye to a part of my past, embraced the beginnings of a new future, and vowed I would fight to keep the man I loved. A very busy day.

We came to a stop at my house and I wondered why Jake didn't coast in like last night. "I'm coming in for a little bit, if you don't mind?" "Sure." I piped, a little too excited. "I just want to check everything out before you get tucked in." He said with a grin. "Oh Jake, you know Charlie will protect me." "Yeah, but it gives me an excuse to see you a little longer."

Charlie was at the sink in the kitchen, looking very hungry. "Dad, we brought you some left overs." "Hey Jake, did you decide to bring her back already?" What was that supposed to mean, I thought? Did he know we were stepping our relationship up a few notches, or was he just being a wise guy?

We visited with him as he ate, and he told Jake about his day. I watched the two of them talking, again, thinking how much older Jake seemed. He fit right in talking with adults, making decisions, and taking good care of me. What more could you ask for? It actually felt like Jake was older than me. The things he and I had been through together and the things we had dealt with from our own family lives, had made us both grow up fast.

While Charlie finished eating, Jake followed me up to my room, checked everything, then said he was going back down stairs while I took a shower and got ready for bed. He was going to catch the news with Charlie. How strange? He was just making himself at home, but I had to admit, I liked it.

I got ready for bed and made my way back downstairs in my sweats and tank top. Sure enough, they were both sprawled out watching the news and both of them were looking pretty sleepy. "Wake up you guys. We all need to get some rest. Jake. You better be getting home. Didn't you say you were going home with some _friends_?" That wasn't exactly a lie. He would be meeting up with his friends out in the forest, to make some patrols, then go home.

"Yeah Bella, I do need to get going. Can I see you for a minute in the kitchen?" "Sure." I walked into the kitchen and reached for the light, but his hand caught mine and he swirled me around to face him, pressing me gently against the wall in the shadows of the room, so Charlie couldn't see us. His body was hot against mine and his warm breath was in my face. "We didn't have a chance to finish our _private_ moment today, with all the _interruptions_. Can I come back later, so we can have a little time alone?" "Jake, are you sure about this?" "Oh yeah. I've waited for you to wake up and tell me you love me for a long time. I have a lot of dreams and fantasies to share with you."

He pressed me against the wall and curved his body inward to meet mine. I'm glad he was holding me against something, because my head was swimming. Maybe this kiss and our closeness were intensified because my dad was in the next room, I'm not sure. But he was overwhelming me at the moment. I reached up and pulled him down so I could whisper in his ear. "Do you have any idea what you are doing to me right now?" "Yeah, and I hope it's working." "It is," was all I could manage to whisper, then he was smothering my mouth again with his.

He pulled away slowly and said, "so you will let me in later?" "I'll be waiting, " I said, as we I walked him to the door and realized that Charlie was asleep on the couch. We both snickered as we tiptoed past him. With the door blocking our view of Charlie, just in case, Jake pulled me up to him by my waist and kissed me one more long, lovely kiss. He smiled at me with a smile that could melt ice, then turned to leave. "Jake, I love you." "I love you too, Bella. Goodnight." Then he was gone.

I leaned against the door, and watched until I could no longer see him running in the moonlight. I'm sure about that time he stripped off his clothes and transformed into the beautiful wolf that would protect while I dreamed tonight. "Goodnight Jacob Black," I whispered, then I turned and went over to tell Charlie to go to bed.

Once in my room, I made sure the window was unlocked, then I lay down, trying to calm myself from the fluttering still lingering in my stomach. Really, I didn't want that feeling to stop, but I would have needed Jake here for it to continue, so I sighed and turned over on my bed.

I must have dozed off because when I heard the window opening it was about 3:00 a.m. "Jake, is that you? I whispered. "It better be me or else you have some serious explaining to do," he chided, as he slid quietly into the room. I was wide awake now and the fluttering feeling was returning.

He came in and crossed the room to my bed. He looked at me lying there for a few minutes and smiled as if he were remembering one of his _many dreams_, then slid down on the small bed beside me. "I believe we have some unfinished business to attend to, don't we?" I bit my lower lip and nodded silently. Too feverish to speak, but I knew he saw my reply in the dark.

He lay down flat on his back and moved me so that my head was on his chest with the rest of me curled up beside him. This wasn't exactly where we had left off earlier, there was no sunlight, and I wasn't letting him take my shirt off this time, because I didn't have my bra on to help keep me covered. "This is another one of my _fantasies_," he whispered. And I lay there, just listening to his breathing and the sound of his heart. "I'm going to sing you an Indian lullaby, that my mom used to sing to me when I was a little boy. You just rest and try to go back to sleep, right here on my chest. Okay?" I nodded silently, as he started singing the sweetest tune I had ever heard. He sang in his native tongue, and even though the words were unfamiliar to me, the melody and the rhythm of his voice lulled me back to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, Jake was gone. I had slept so soundly that I felt very rested and so alive this morning. I sprang up and quickly got dressed. I beat Charlie downstairs and immediately started making him pancakes. He came down as the first batch as ready with butter melting on them. "Wow, to what do I owe this great honor? You are certainly in a good mood today." "Good morning." I sang and gave him a big smile.

He looked puzzled, like he was trying to figure out a math problem or something. You know, two plus two, then he snapped his fingers. "Let me see, the last thing I remember from last night, Jake was here and the two of you were talking. _I see._ That must be the reason." Why did he have to pick now to become observant? Oh, well, I didn't care. Today, I didn't care if the whole world knew how I felt about Jake, and that for the first time in a long time I was happy.

"Well, I guess you caught us, then." I said sheepishly, looking down at the table. "Bella, I'm not mad. It's about time you woke up and saw what was right before your eyes. He's crazy about you. So how are you feeling about him, these days?" "_Dad_!" "Come on Bella, give me at least one more little bit of good news about why you're smiling."

"Well, maybe I have come to some realizations as of late." "Before it was too late," I half mumbled to myself. "Well it's about time, young lady. This is great. Now I can really enjoy my breakfast. It smells delicious."

We ate in silence for the rest of the meal. I guess I had given Charlie all he needed. He did smile at me a couple of times, though. And watched me eat two whole pancakes without stopping. I could also see the approval of that in his eyes.

Charlie gave me a pat on the back and told me he was going fishing again today. I told him I was going to get things in order around the house today, do the laundry, then go see Jake. He seemed pleased and headed off to make the most of another nice day.

I put the laundry on, and went back to the kitchen to wash the dishes. I looked at the clock, wondering if it was too early to call and check on Jake, it was only 9:00 a.m. I'm sure he needed some rest, so I impatiently went about my chores.

Thirty minutes hadn't pasted, when I heard a slight knock at the front door. I ran to the door with soapy hands and opened it, to find Jake standing there with a bouquet of fresh wild flowers in his hand. He had on a black T-shirt, jeans, and he even had on shoes. "Hey, what're you doing here," I chuckled? "What, aren't you glad to see me?" "You know I am _very_ glad to see you, but I was going to let you get some rest this morning, while I did some work around here."

He stepped inside the door, closed it with his foot, wrapped his big arm around my waist and kissed me good morning. I stumbled back, took a deep breath, and smiled. "Are these for me?" "Yeah, I picked them on the way up here. It's not much, but they were pretty. Not as pretty as you of course, but they might brighten up your day." "Oh, nothing could brighten my day any more than you just did."

I took the flowers and headed back to the kitchen, with Jake in tow. "Have you eaten yet? I made Charlie pancakes and we had some left." "Well, I guess I am a _little_ hungry. I was in a hurry to see you, so I forgot to eat." "Give me a minute and I'll heat them up, have a seat. Do you want some milk to drink?" "Sure, sure. That's fine."

I quickly heated the pancakes in the microwave, applied an ample amount of butter, and set them in front of him, along with the syrup. "Thanks, Bella. They look great. Hey, seriously though, I hope you didn't mind me coming over today. I wanted to talk with you about some things. I was hoping Charlie would be gone, so we could have some time alone." "Well, you picked a good day, he is out fishing again, and probably wont be home until dark."

Just then, I heard the washer spinning wildly in the laundry room, so I went to check on it while he started eating. He was half finished when I got back. I decided to finish washing the dishes, so we would both be free to talk, about the same time. Jake was busy chewing, so I knew he couldn't say much anyway.

I went back to the sink, reaching into the warm, soapy, water, and found a glass. I drifted into deep thought as I washed, rubbing the glass carefully, over and over. Then, subconsciously, I began humming the melody that Jake had sang to me last night. It was so lovely that I couldn't get it out of my mind.

I didn't hear him approach, but suddenly, I knew he was standing behind me, as I felt the heat emanating from his body. I continued to hum, moving the glass around in the water. He nuzzled his face unto my hair, drawing in a deep breath, as if he were smelling it, then he lifted it up exposing the back of my neck. He bent down and gently exhaled his warm breath on my skin. Then his lips were trailing down my neck as he moved over to my ear. He stopped there, pressing his lips against it and sighed, then he took my earlobe between his lips, pretending to bite it.

I dropped the glass into the water as shivers ran up my spine. I was covered in chill bumps, even though he was as hot as ever next to me. I leaned back against him, to rest my head on his chest. Weakness overtook me and I felt like I would fall. He must have sensed it and wrapped his arms around me, as we began swaying back and forth. I had stopped humming. Now, the only sound was the beating of our two hearts. I loved that sound. _Two_ hearts beating in harmony. How could I have ever dreamed of giving up my _beating heart _to become a vampire? I wouldn't trade this moment for a million stone cold days.

As if he could read my mind, Jake spoke, "you don't know what it means to me to have you warm and alive here in my arms. Your heart was made to beat with mine for the rest of our lives." "I know, Jake, I know."

"Can I talk with you for a while? I have some things I need to say." "Sure, let's go sit in the living room." He turned and headed into the next room, holding my hand as we walked. We sat down on the sofa and he turned to face me. He looked so serious that I became concerned. What was he going to tell me?

He looked at my hands, which he held between his own, as he spoke. "Bella, I know a lot has happened in the last couple of days and I'm afraid it's a dream. This is one of the sweetest dreams I've ever had, but I'm afraid I'm about to wake up to the four walls of my bedroom and realize that it wasn't real." Then he looked into my eyes. I tilted my head slightly as I looked at the slightest amount of agony in his ebony eyes, but I understood. I had told him we were just friends and put him off so many times that I could see where he was coming from.

"Jake, I know I've hurt you so much in the past, but if you will give me a chance, I _will_ make it up to you. The past few days have been a dream to me too, but I don't want to wake up from it. I want to keep going, keep living it. I want to be with you. _I do love you._"

He closed his eyes and leaned down to kiss my hands, which he still held. "I just had to hear you say it once more." He smiled at me then said, "I want to give you something, but don't freak out okay." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, piece of cloth which was folded over and tied. He carefully untied it and handed it to me to unfold. Inside I found a small gold, linked chain bracelet. Dangling from the center was a small carved, wooden heart. It was so delicate and beautiful. I touched it gently and looked up at him with wonder. "Jake, I don't know what to say. It's so beautiful." "Thanks, I made it for you a long time ago. The heart I mean. It is carved out of a piece of the driftwood tree we sit on at the beach."

Still looking at him with amazement, I said, "you _made_ this, from _our tree_?" "Yeah, this is something Billy taught me to do when I was younger. Bella, this is a custom among my people. This is a Quileuete promise bracelet. When you love someone, you give them this as a symbol of that love. Will you wear it for me?"

With tears in my eyes and trembling hands I tried to fasten it, but was unsuccessful. He took it in his big hands and very carefully fastened it onto my wrist. "Jake, this is the sweetest, most sincere thing I've ever experienced. I'm honored to wear it. Thank you." We smiled at each other for a few minutes then he said, "you were in deep thought yesterday when I snuck up on you at the beach. Are you ready to tell me what you were thinking? I don't want us to every keep secrets from each other and I always want us to be open and honest about our feelings."

I sniffed and wiped the tears from my eyes with my sleeve. "Yes, I guess I'm ready to tell you. I'm not sure how you will take it though." "It's okay, you know I'm tough. I can deal." "Okay, here goes. I'm not very good at this. I've never really been faced with this _situation_ before." I was unable to look at him now. My face was flaming.

"Jake, I _sort_ of know how you felt before, thinking of me being with _som...someone_ else." "What? What are you talking about," he said in a slightly raised voice? I pressed my finger to his lips. "Wait, let me finish. When we were talking about _imprinting_ yesterday, it made me realize that there is a possibility that _someday_, you might find that someone. You may find a beautiful girl, with straight, jet black hair and silky, bronze skin, like yours, that you _imprint_ on." "No, no, no! Hell, no! I'm not even looking at anyone else. I don't see anyone's face but yours. _I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN!!"_

Jake's hands were trembling and I could tell that he was getting upset. "Calm down, Jake. We both know this could happen. From what I've heard, you can't control it. _It just happens._ But I want you to know, I'm not going to give you up without a fight." As I spoke the last few words, Jake's expression softened. "I'll do whatever I have to, to fight for your love. I know, I _probably _won't have a chance against this 'pre-chosen stuff', but I'll try." I dropped my head and stared at the floor, then said, "and, if I lose, I will know that I am being paid back, _for all the pain I've caused you._ Besides, you might want someone with a dark complexion and beautiful like you. I know Sam would prefer you find someone from the reservation."

"For starters, Miss Swan, I don't care _what _Sam wants. My life, is my life, and no one else's business, except yours. As for what type of woman I'm _attracted _to, I happen to be _very _fond of you and you're beautiful, pale skin. I've actually thought about this a lot when I've been running through the forest. You and I are perfect together. You are the light and I'm the dark. When the two come together it's called _twilight_. Bella, when we come together, _it's like nature_." He held my pale hand up next to his and said, "see _twilight_. Which happens to be my favorite time of day."

He was right, apart from him I was pale in comparison, but with him, he complimented me, we were _like nature _together, and it felt right, it felt good.

After a moment, he said, "you mean, you would fight _for me_? Do you really love me that much?" "Yes Jake, I do." Now he was beaming. He jumped to his feet, pulling me with him, and embracing me in a big bear hug. "You would really do that for me? I can't believe it. No one has ever told me they would _fight_ for me, except the pack. Oh Bella, I really don't deserve you, but I'll keep you anyway, as long as you'll have me around."

Jake was so happy. For once, I did something right and it made him so happy. He pulled away and gave me a sad pout. "Now I have some bad news." "What," I shrieked? "Do you remember me mentioning that I had an essay due tomorrow? I was hoping you might help me get it done today."

"Whew, I thought it was something really bad. This I can handle. What is it about?" "You won't believe it. I didn't look at the assignment until this morning and it is on _Pride and Prejudice._" We both laughed, as he pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket. "All I need is a few minutes with your computer, a few pointers, and the rest I think I can come up with, fortunately, because you had the _brilliant _idea to watch the movie."

"Okay, okay. You head up to my room and get started. I have to finish the laundry and dishes. I will be up in a little while." He trudged up the stairs and I headed off to the kitchen. I finished the dishes, put the clothes into the dryer, and headed to the bathroom to give it a quick scrub down. I ran back downstairs and laid out some things to thaw for dinner tonight, and dusted the living room.

I was ready for a break now anyway, so I ran upstairs to check Jake's progress. He had made himself at home with my old computer and had several pages already typed. I was impressed. I knew he was good with his hands when it came to cars, fixing things, and now carving, but I didn't know he could type.

"How far have you gotten," I asked? Then he gave me a run down of where he was, asked a few questions, looked on the internet a few minutes, and started writing again. While he worked, I picked up a book and lay across my bed reading. I was lucky this weekend. I didn't have any homework.

"There, I think I'm done. Want to hear it?" "Sure, I'm all ears." I rolled onto my back and eyed him as he read. It was incredible. I know he was writing about a book, but as he read, it sounded like it was written about us. The trials we had overcome and the intense feelings we had for each other but fought to hold back. Then in the end, how it all came together and we found happiness together. I just wanted our happiness to be as strong as theirs was, and last as long.

By the time he finished reading, the tears were flowing down my cheeks. "Jake, it was wonderful. It almost sounds like you wrote it for me." "I did. That's what made it so easy." He hit print on the computer and came over to lie down beside me on the bed. He wiped the tears away and smiled. "It seems I'm always causing your eyes to overflow, in one way or another." "Well this time it was because of the beauty of your words."

He put his hand on my hair, stroking it as he peered at the headboard. "It's going to be even harder to concentrate at school tomorrow, you know. I'm going to have a lot more _important _things to be thinking about." "Yeah, I know what you mean, me too." Then his face was inches from mine, his warm, sweet breath was on my skin. "You can think about this if you'd like," he whispered, and he pressed his lips to mine, pulling his hand from my hair and sliding it across my face until he held my cheek with it. He moved closer and put his leg over mine.

I reached up and wove my fingers into his soft, dark hair, pulling him even closer. My mind floated, my body trembled, and my heart was pounding. He moved his hand down my neck, my shoulder, my side, and found the small of my back. He made his way under my shirt and rubbed my back with his soft, warm hand. I hadn't realized it, but I was moaning ever so faintly, and he seemed to like it. He pulled me closer, molding our bodies to each other. Then I was gasping for air. How could I ever be truly romantic with him, if I couldn't breathe.

He laughed, quietly and came to whisper in my ear, while I caught my breath. "Will you be thinking about this tomorrow?" I could barely whisper, through my gasps, "how could I think about anything _but_ this?" We lay there, holding each other close for a long time, but neither of us saying a word. Then Jake asked, "would you like to go for a walk? I hear the rain is coming back again tomorrow."

We got up and Jake retrieved his essay from the printer, turned off the computer, and we strolled down stairs. "Oh, I forgot the clothes. I better fold them before they wrinkle, and let me put the roast in the oven, before we leave. It should be fine while we're gone." "Okay, I'll get the clothes, while you get the roast started. Then we can go." "Thanks, I think." This was so weird having Jake help me with domestic tasks. Was this a glimpse of my future? I shook my head a few times as I prepared the roast and potatoes. Then I started smiling to myself. Maybe it was, and you know, it didn't sound half bad.

I was just putting the roast in the oven and setting the temperature, when Jake came into the kitchen smiling and looking a little guilty. "What?" "Are these yours," he said as he held up a pair of my lace covered panties. "Give me those," I shouted and jumped at him trying to retrieve my underwear. He held them up and pretended to make me beg, but he was so much taller than I was that I wasn't successful. Finally, I jumped high enough to grab them and shoved them into my pocket. "You have to wear them too," I said "Not all the time, Bella. Can you imagine how awkward it would be to carry a pair of underwear and a pair of shorts on the leather string I keep tied around my leg, when I morph?"

I just stood and stared at him. My mouth fell open, then I started grinning. Actually, I started thinking about all those times I had been so close to him, and he wasn't wearing underwear. A sneaky smile crept over my face, then he turned it around and started mocking me. "Don't be too upset baby. It's the only time I'm going to get to see yours, _anytime soon_." Then winked at me. I was so embarrassed.

I tried to dodge him, and make a run for it to the living room, but he caught me, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I was screaming and kicking the whole time, but he just laughed, and said, "I've got you now, and you can't escape."

He headed out the door and toward the woods. I stopped screaming, thinking someone might hear me and think I was being kidnaped, or something. When we got into the woods, he put me down, and let the blood run back into my head. "Jacob Black, you better watch it. I'll get you back, when you least expect it."

He didn't seem to be the least bit scared by my threat, but I was already plotting. We walked a little while and I began to realize that we were in about the same spot, the place, where _Ed....Edward_ had left me in the forest. I hadn't been back here since that night. I'm sure Jake didn't know, but it didn't stop me from the panic attack that soon followed.

I began clutching at my chest, I couldn't breathe, and I was getting physically ill. It wasn't my fault, I hadn't been thinking about _him_, I didn't even want to think about _him, _so why was this happening. "Jake, take me back home, please," I began to beg.

I guess he knew I wasn't joking, by the look of terror on my face, so he scooped me up and ran with me back toward my house. I just closed my eyes and tried not to think. But everything started swimming in my mind. First _Edward's_ face, then Jake's, then a wolf, then Sam's face, over and over they swirled.

Jack sat me down on the porch when we reached the house, and put his hand on my head to see of I was warm, like he could tell. He was burning up all the time. I put my head down, between my knees, and tried to breathe deep breaths. Jake ran inside and came back with a wet cloth and began to wipe my face.

"I'm okay. I'm okay, now. Thanks." I sat up and leaned against the banister. "What was that all about, Bella?" "I'm not sure," I lied. No, that was wrong, I had to tell him, we were always going to be open with each other. Remember, Bella? "No, Jake, I do know. I'm sorry, I said that I didn't." I looked at him and saw confusion and concern in his expression.

I took a few deep breaths, then spilled myself to him. "Jake, I haven't been back to that part of the forest, since, since, that night. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking of _him_ or that night or anything. It just hit me. I'm so sorry." "Hey, it's my fault, I should have asked you which way you wanted to walk. But, this is good. This is good for us. You turned it around and were honest with me, so now let's work through it. Okay? What did you feel? Did it bring back _memories_?"

He seemed genuinely concerned, not mad or upset. So I told him. "It felt like it was closing in on me. I could smell the same smell from that night, the damp ground. Then I saw faces swirling in my head. Yours, _his, _Sam's, and a wolf. But, I'm okay now. I, I just didn't want to be there. I was really scared." "Bella, you don't ever have to be scared with me. You know I will protect you. Do you still _feel anything a...about him_?" "No, I was just scared. Scared of being there, of being left alone there."

"I'll never leave you the way _he_ did, Bella," Jake said, gritting his teeth. Now he was angry, but not a me at _Edward, _I could see it in his eyes. But he calmed down, as he looked at me. "See, this is a good thing, we can be there for each other and help each other out. And you know that I would never leave you there alone. Don't you?" "Yes. This was stupid! I'm so stupid," I shouted. I got up and tried to stager toward the steps, but he caught me by the arm and pulled me down onto his lap, hugging me tightly to his chest.

"Bella, honey, I understand. It is okay. I'm sure, from time to time, you will have memories that come back to you. I'm sure some, _but not all_, of them will be bad, but I can handle that. We can't just cut out your past. No more than I can cut out the wolf from mine."

I knew he was right. After all, it had only been approximately two days since I had said my goodbye. It would take time, and if he could stick it out with me, it would be okay. "Thanks Jake. I really had no idea that would happen. Do_ you_ think I'm crazy?" "I don't care if you're crazy, as long as you're _crazy about me._" He laughed and kissed my forehead. "Seriously. No, you're not crazy, just healing."

Again, here I was leaning on him for support, even when I didn't know I needed him for support. But he was there and we were together. That's what counted most. "Do you want to go for a walk, in that direction," I pointed up the road? "Sure," I said with a sigh.

So, we headed off up the road and in the opposite direction of where we had been. "You know I came here that night, Bella. No one would give me a ride, so I walked. It was 3:00 a.m. when I got here, and everyone was about to leave. They had just gotten you settled down inside. I wanted to come in and see you, but they told me to go home. I caught a ride, feeling like a little kid surrounded by grown ups, who wouldn't listen to me. I felt so bad for you that night."

"Jake, I never knew. Why didn't you tell me? That means so much to me that you came." "You have to remember, until a few days ago, you and I didn't exactly talk much about_ that _part of your past." "Yeah, I know," I said. "Jake maybe, in time we can, if something, like this comes up, and we need to. The same goes for you, too. Anytime you need to talk. I'm here." "It's a deal then. You can cry on my shoulder, _anytime_, and I will cry on yours," he said.

"Bella, I almost forgot. Quil's mom is out of town Saturday, so Quil is having all of us over for a get-to-gather. Sort of like party, I guess. Will you go with me?" "Does his mom know about it?" "Yeah, it is just the pack, Emily, Jared's girlfriend Kim, and you, if you'll come. Quil's mom knows with Sam there. It will be fairly quiet." "I wouldn't miss a werewolf party for anything. Count me in. What should I bring?" "How 'bout some chips and your favorite dip? I'm bringing the sodas." "Okay, I'll bring French onion," I agreed.

We walked and talked for about two hours, then headed back home. It was nice to be out in the fresh air. Everything was so green and peaceful. I had already forgotten the terror attack I had earlier and was ready to get back and check on dinner.

"Bella, I can smell the roast from here, it smells great." "Will you stay for dinner, I know Charlie won't mind, besides I made enough for _all _of us, hoping you would?" "A beautiful woman, asks me to stay and eat her wonderful cooking, let me think, hum. Heck yeah, I'm staying!"

Charlie made it in just as I was putting everything on the table. He came in and went to wash up. "Hey dad. I've invited Jake for dinner, hope that's okay?" "Bella, you don't ever have to ask me if Jake is welcome. He is as much a part of this family as you are. What have you guys been up to today?"

I filled him in on most of our events from the day and told him about Jake's essay. He told us about the fishing trip and how many fish they had caught. He said his deputy, Mark, had taken them all home to clean, then would give him his half tomorrow.

Jake and my dad ate their fair share of roast both saying they were stuffed, and that they enjoyed it, then Charlie headed to the livingroom to watch the news. Jake helped me put the food away, I made a plate for him to take to Billy, then we washed the dishes together.

Shortly before, 8:00 p.m., Jake said he needed to get home, but I knew he needed to go out on patrols with the pack. I walked him to his car, we made plans to see each other after school tomorrow, and said our goodbyes. Then he drove away. Wow, what a whirl wind of a weekend. Things had really started changing in my life, hopefully for the better.


End file.
